The 2021 Wrap-Up Blog
I appreciate having the opportunity to reflect on my year, find the hidden lesson that the universe attempted to teach me once, twice, sometimes as many as a dozen times (depending on how dense or astute a student I was).
And, in identifying my lesson, I attempt to impart some wisdom and hope onto you, insert first name here.
My big lesson this year? Determination is what gets you through sometimes.
To start, writing this post was painful — written more through determination than out of any real desire.
And that last half sentence basically describes my year: Days, activities, tasks — carried out more through determination than out of any real desire.
Which is why I didn’t want to reflect on 2021, let alone write about it.
Because it’s been a grind. A hustle. A series of actions taken without processing how I felt in the moment, knowing that my feelings would not provide me with the motivation needed to do the things I had to do.
However, I want to leave you with hope. I don’t want to be Dr. Darcy Downer.
But I also don’t want to bullshit you. This year has been heavy. Heavier than I could’ve imagined.
I had hope this time last year. Hope that we’d be out of this fucking pandemic. Hope that we’d be better connected as people. Hope that better days were coming.
In defense of my depleted optimism, we’re living through a global mental health crisis, and I am a shrink who’s barely had a day off since March 2020. And I was in dire need of a vacation coming into March 2020. (This is why you shouldn’t postpone vacations…)
And just when I thought I’d lived and worked through everything imaginable, in came 2021.
It’s not that it threw so many new things my way — it’s mostly that much of the stuff from 2020 didn’t vanish.
Also, wading my way through a global mental health crisis as a therapist would be more tolerable if the rest of my life had accommodated the strain and exhaustion of it.
But when months of a pandemic turned into years, all the normal things that happen in life still happened.
To be clear: I’m a privileged lady to have had more work that I’m capable of doing and I’ve remained healthy in a year which, for many, will be defined by the loss of jobs, family and health.
And if there’s any life lesson that 2021 has taught me, it’s to keep moving. Keep going. Put one foot in front of the other. Persevere. Continue to build endurance. Be determined. Which is what I did this year.
I’m guessing, this is probably what you did too.
And so I want you to take a moment to reflect about how much of a badass you are. So often we rush from one thing to another, even in the midst of a global pandemic, and don’t take the time to congratulate ourselves for our fortitude and determination in life.
The fact that you’ve stayed determined to get through 2021 tells me a lot about you. And I hope you take the time to recognize it. To be proud of yourself for simply getting through.
To honor the highs and lows, take the lessons, and become a slightly better version of you next year.
And if that’s all you accomplished in 2021, I say you’re doing a pretty good job.
So, I’ll follow my own advice…
What follows is an incomplete list of the highs and lows of my 2021.
We adopted Danielle. On February 19, we adopted Danielle, solidifying the family unit we’ve been for more than five years. If you’re new to my life, you can read about that story here. The adoption celebration is planned for late spring, 2022.
- Luna went to heaven. Our beloved Chow Luna lived 14½ years, almost every day of which was healthy and bursting with her alpha personality. She’s missed every day.
- We closed our Fifth Avenue office. After not using it for a year and a half, we decided we’d done our part to ensure our landlord’s solvency, and we’re now working remotely. That said, see below:
- We bought a property 3 miles from the BEACH in New Jersey in a town called Middletown! It’s where the country meets the sea. Our 1908 farmhouse has a first floor office which we’re using to film and to see patients when they need to be in-person.
- My mother lost her battle with cancer on September 24. During her 90 years, she lived through The Great Depression, World War II, 2 husbands, a few boyfriends, COPD, COVID, and my coming out — which nobody saw coming. She will be deeply missed.
In the final analysis, 2021 was objectively a better year for me than 2020. I’m just tired. And I’m tired of being tired. And I’m tired of thinking and feeling and telling people that I’m tired. So I’m going to take that vacation I should’ve taken in February 2020. And I’ll take it this February 2022. That’s my promise to myself.
Oh yeah, the other promise is to never lose my determination — no matter what life throws at me.