Q

Dear Dr. Darcy,

I’ve been with my partner for nearly 7 years. She’s always been willing to try, or at least discuss, any requests I’ve had for introducing new things to our sex life.

She’s mentioned several times that she wished I’d spice things up with some dirty talk. I want so badly to reciprocate her willingness to fulfill me, but every time I try my mind goes completely blank. I have no idea what to say or how to say it. Don’t get me wrong, I know how to give vocal cues. But putting words with my tone — that’s where I freeze.

Is talking dirty something that can be learned?

A

Anything can be learned. You just have to be willing.

There are few things hotter to a woman than well-executed dirty talk because (great) seduction starts by stimulating our minds.

Your first mistake is expecting to perform improv without any prep. The pressure in the moment is causing you to freeze – which is the last thing either of you want in the bedroom. Here I’ll say an ounce of preparation will equal a pound of cure.

I think you need a warm-up before engaging IRL dirty talk.

Start by following my 3 steps below: