How To Master The First Kiss

Dear Dr. Darcy:

I’m a man in my early 30’s looking for a relationship. Back in college I had a really bad experience and I think it’s interfering with me finding a woman today. What happened was I hooked up with a girl one night after a party and the next day she told me she didn’t want to see me anymore because there wasn’t chemistry. Later that day my fraternity brothers told me that she told all her sorority sisters that I was an awful kisser. Ever since then I have awful thoughts floating in my head when I’m about to lean in for the first kiss. I’m convinced that the sorority girl is right and that I must suck as a kisser and not surprisingly I rarely get past the first kiss with a woman. How important is the first kiss? Is there a general way that women like to be kissed? Or maybe some common mistakes you can point out to me that guys make when kissing? Please help a brother out.

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Trumping the Trump Card: Surviving Political Differences During the Holidays

Thanksgiving is the second happiest day of the year in the US – outranked only by Christmas – according to a Gallup poll.  But Trump’s surprise victory has many Americans reeling in the wake of the 2016 presidential election, and not surprisingly, many are dreading Thanksgiving as they anticipate enduring painful political debates at the…

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Dating A Celesbian

  Dear Dr. Darcy: My girlfriend is a very well known promoter in the [San Francisco] Bay area. Although I love her, recently I’ve begun questioning our relationship. I’m not a jealous person but she’s recognized everywhere we go. I’m finding myself feeling competitive with other women. I was a women’s studies major in college…

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11 Tips To Fix Lesbian Bed Death

Lesbian bed death is not necessarily symptomatic of a doomed relationship and it’s certainly not a phenomenon exclusive to the lesbian community. Pair any gender combination in a long-term relationship and most will report a decline in sexual activity over time.  What I’ve found in my work with couples is that the more I focus…

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Doom and Gloom: Dealing With A Chronic Complainer

Dear Dr. Darcy: I have a close friend who complains about her life constantly.  She’s in a bad relationship (or none at all), she’s underutilized at work, she’s fat, ugly, still in love with an ex – you name it, she’s annoyed by it. Some of it’s true (not her being ugly) but she doesn’t do anything to change those things. It’s to the point where when I see her name pop up on my phone, I ask myself if I’m feeling strong enough to withstand her negativity without it sucking the life out of me. I feel guilty because she’s never done anything to hurt me, but when faced with having to see her, I find myself wishing I’d get the stomach flu to have an excuse to cancel. Am I an asshole?

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Lady Chastity

Dear Dr. Darcy: 

My ex-boyfriend was quite kinky and was always introducing new things to the relationship. I wasn’t all the way into it but went along with it to make him happy. As part of a “cuckolding” and “male chastity” scene, he introduced me to my current girlfriend. The scene was hotter than I expected and we hit if off. I stayed in touch with her and things progressed to the point where I ended things with my ex-bf and started dating her.

Now the twist. My ex was so sad and devastated from the break up that he wanted to stay friends, like to actually spend time with me. I felt bad for him but I wanted to be fair to my new girl. So… um… I made him a deal. If he stayed locked in his chastity cage with me keeping the keys then we could hang as friends. The moment he took it off would be done forever.

I thought he would last a week or two and we’d part ways. Instead it was almost a month before he finally begged to be unlocked. By that time I was enjoying our platonic relationship and even sorta getting off on being his “keyholder” and teasing him. Is this fair?

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