When Is Enough Enough?

Dr. Darcy, I’m a 40-year old woman who fell in love with a woman for the first time. It is like nothing I have ever experienced. But I have a problem with her talking and hanging out with her ex, who she admits still has feelings for her. She even told me they hung out one night and watched a movie. It was late so her ex slept on the couch (later I found out that she slept in her bed fully clothed but NOTHING happened…hard to believe right?) [My girlfriend] is 48, her ex is 28 – BIG difference in age but the 28 year old knows how to play mind games. My girlfriend suffers from mental illnesses such as BPD [borderline personality disorder], anxiety & PTSD. 

 

Question is when is enough ENOUGH??! I’m confused beyond belief as to what to believe anymore. My girlfriend says she is just a friend – they’ve known each other for 2 years but only dated 3 months). Never had sex with her but being new to the girlfriend/girlfriend situation, I thought exploring with your fingers and kissing were sex?? I feel as though I can’t break up with her but I can’t stand feeling like this anymore…

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