How To Master The First Kiss

Dear Dr. Darcy:

I’m a man in my early 30’s looking for a relationship. Back in college I had a really bad experience and I think it’s interfering with me finding a woman today. What happened was I hooked up with a girl one night after a party and the next day she told me she didn’t want to see me anymore because there wasn’t chemistry. Later that day my fraternity brothers told me that she told all her sorority sisters that I was an awful kisser. Ever since then I have awful thoughts floating in my head when I’m about to lean in for the first kiss. I’m convinced that the sorority girl is right and that I must suck as a kisser and not surprisingly I rarely get past the first kiss with a woman. How important is the first kiss? Is there a general way that women like to be kissed? Or maybe some common mistakes you can point out to me that guys make when kissing? Please help a brother out.

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11 Tips To Fix Lesbian Bed Death

Lesbian bed death is not necessarily symptomatic of a doomed relationship and it’s certainly not a phenomenon exclusive to the lesbian community. Pair any gender combination in a long-term relationship and most will report a decline in sexual activity over time.  What I’ve found in my work with couples is that the more I focus…

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Doom and Gloom: Dealing With A Chronic Complainer

Dear Dr. Darcy: I have a close friend who complains about her life constantly.  She’s in a bad relationship (or none at all), she’s underutilized at work, she’s fat, ugly, still in love with an ex – you name it, she’s annoyed by it. Some of it’s true (not her being ugly) but she doesn’t do anything to change those things. It’s to the point where when I see her name pop up on my phone, I ask myself if I’m feeling strong enough to withstand her negativity without it sucking the life out of me. I feel guilty because she’s never done anything to hurt me, but when faced with having to see her, I find myself wishing I’d get the stomach flu to have an excuse to cancel. Am I an asshole?

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The Importance of the First Kiss

Dear Dr. Darcy:

I’m a man in my early 30’s looking for a relationship. Back in college I had a really bad experience and I think it’s interfering with me finding a woman today. What happened was I hooked up with a girl one night after a party and the next day she told me she didn’t want to see me anymore because there wasn’t chemistry. Later that day my fraternity brothers told me that she told all her sorority sisters that I was an awful kisser. Ever since then I have awful thoughts floating in my head when I’m about to lean in for the first kiss. I’m convinced that the sorority girl is right and that I must suck as a kisser and not surprisingly I rarely get past the first kiss with a woman. How important is the first kiss? Is there a general way that women like to be kissed? Or maybe some common mistakes you can point out to me that guys make when kissing? Please help a brother out.

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9 Things Happy People Do That You Don’t

Happiness, it turns out, is a 50/50 roll of the genetic dice: Half of us are born with a predisposition for it.  Those who aren’t are left with a choice: Do you want to live your life grumpy and pessimistic, predisposed to anxiety and depression, or do you want to adopt the specific ways that happy people think and act, which, when followed, absolutely makes up for the hereditary piece. 

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When Is Enough Enough?

Dr. Darcy, I’m a 40-year old woman who fell in love with a woman for the first time. It is like nothing I have ever experienced. But I have a problem with her talking and hanging out with her ex, who she admits still has feelings for her. She even told me they hung out one night and watched a movie. It was late so her ex slept on the couch (later I found out that she slept in her bed fully clothed but NOTHING happened…hard to believe right?) [My girlfriend] is 48, her ex is 28 – BIG difference in age but the 28 year old knows how to play mind games. My girlfriend suffers from mental illnesses such as BPD [borderline personality disorder], anxiety & PTSD. 

 

Question is when is enough ENOUGH??! I’m confused beyond belief as to what to believe anymore. My girlfriend says she is just a friend – they’ve known each other for 2 years but only dated 3 months). Never had sex with her but being new to the girlfriend/girlfriend situation, I thought exploring with your fingers and kissing were sex?? I feel as though I can’t break up with her but I can’t stand feeling like this anymore…

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