Wrestling With Gender

Dear Dr. Darcy:

Hi. I’m a sixteen year old guy and I have absolutely no idea what the hell is going on with my body. In short, I want to be a girl. I’m always looking at my female friends with envy. Their chests are just what I want! I always look into Victoria Secret and wish that I could just be able to wear one of those soft, sexy, silks…. I am also really into this guy who is on my wrestling team, but he is straight and I don’t know whether to tease him into liking me, or just leave it alone and stay unhappy. Do you think that a sex change procedure would be helpful in my case? I am sick of looking like Lady GAGA with my hair extensions and no breasts… Please help.

ANSWER

OK, Sister, I’m coming in to help.  The good news is that you know what you want to be – it sounds like you’re pretty sure that you would be more comfortable living as a woman.  The not-so-great news is that I would NEVER CONDONE OR ENCOURAGE A TEENAGER TO CHANGE THEIR GENDER.  Was that clear?  Good.  So essentially, you need to make peace with being uncomfortable for the time being, because there are too many changes happening to your body (as a result of your age) for you to impose the additional complications that come along with gender reassignment surgery.  Save that for your (gasp and I know you’re going to hate me) 20’s.  You heard me.

Now let’s talk about your teammate the wrestler.  Do NOT, and I’ll repeat, do not make advances on him. I think it’s fine to admire him from afar. I wish we lived in a world where I didn’t feel compelled to say this, but here it goes:  Not everyone is as open-minded as you are, especially when it comes to sexuality.  And, let’s face it, boys are usually slow to mature so, it’s crucial that you consider your audience with care….It could put you at risk for ridicule among your teammates, or worse.  This is not intended to strike fear in you, rather, to alert you to the dangers of playing around with straight guys.  There are lots of gay guys – flirt with one of them and leave the straight boys to the cheerleaders.  As skilled as you may think you are, no one is able to tease anyone into liking them.  Not even Lady Gaga.