Meet The Evangelical Parents

Dear Dr. Darcy:

How do I introduce my girlfriend of 1.5 years to my fundamentalist evangelical parents? I’m 31 and came out to them last March. We don’t discuss it, and they haven’t asked to meet my girlfriend, but they know we live together. Any pointers?

ANSWER

For starters, I would suggest telling them that you’d like to introduce your girlfriend to them and asking them if they’d like to meet her.  Their answer will let you know where they stand on the issue. You can’t force them to be in her company – unless you want to manage a train wreck, which I would caution you against.

If they’re open to meeting her, opt to meet in a restaurant. Bringing them into your home (or her into theirs) will create tension right off the bat, and we want to minimize the tension.  Do your best to minimize PDA’s in front of your parents – at least for the first few times of being in their company. Let them get to know your girlfriend as a person.

Ultimately they’re going to feel however they feel and while you can be sensitive to their beliefs, you can’t make them comfortable with something if they’re unwilling to grow and change. And then it becomes a choice point: You either accept them as they are (homophobia and all) or decide that if they can’t accept you (girlfriend and all), you can only have them marginally in your life. There’s honestly no wrong answer. Please update us on how it goes.

Writer’s Stats: Female, Lesbian.