Help! My Ex Is Getting Married.

Dear Dr. Darcy:

I just found out that my ex is getting married and it’s killing me! Mind you I’m in a committed relationship so I’m not sure why this is bothering me.  I have Google alerts set up under his name and yesterday it pulled up his wedding announcement in the Times. And I just don’t know what to do about how I’m feeling. My girlfriend is pissed off at how upset I am. So now I have 2 problems: I’m upset that he’s getting married and [my girlfriend’s] upset that I’m upset.

ANSWER

I’m trying to figure out why you would tell your girlfriend that his engagement is upsetting to you… Were you looking for consolation? From your girlfriend?  Are my questions enough to illuminate the stupidity of that move?

You are allowed to be upset over your ex’s engagement, but setting up Google alerts under his name is like throwing yourself in front of a moving car and then ask for sympathy for your injuries.

Remove the Google alerts and fully immerse yourself into your current relationship. Get yourself a hobby and some friends who you can confide in, and then you’ll see whether this is a territorial issue.  If none of that works, you might want to rethink your current relationship.  That is, unless she has Google alerts on her ex and decides to rethink your relationship first.

Writer’s Stats: Female, Bi.