Age Matters

Dear Dr. Darcy:  Does age matter? I’m dating a woman who is 25 and I’m 48. We are very compatible in all aspects of our lives.  I am a very young 48 and she’s mature for her age. Ironically, she’s often the more mature of the two of us. We’ve been dating for several months now and with the holidays coming up, I’m thinking about bringing her to Christmas, but I’m groaning inwardly at the reaction of my siblings when they meet her. I know that they’ll be thinking I’m having a midlife crisis because of her age and because this relationship comes on the heels of having finalized my divorce. Do you really think age is such a big deal?

ANSWER

Yes, I think age is a big deal ~ and so do you which is why you’re hesitant to bring your girlfriend around your family. You think it’s their judgment that you’re trying to avoid when in reality you’ve projected your own judgment all over them.

I could spend my whole response delving into the various reasons why you found yourself a trophy to parade around with instead of a contemporary… I could also outline all the potential daddy issues that have caused a young, vibrant girl to seek out a man who will begin to age at roughly triple her rate within the next decade.  Instead, I’ll say this:

Let’s decide that what you say is true and that she’s mature for her age. She’s still developing and maturing and in all likelihood, she’ll out outgrow you at some point. What’s that? By then you’ll be married and she’ll stay with you out of commitment? Maybe.  But do you really want a woman to stay with you out of obligation, having sex with you because she’s married and not because she’s attracted to you?

Age in and of itself doesn’t matter, but decades do. An age gap like yours typically renders people incompatible in the long run.  So for now, have fun. I’m sure she’s thrilled to date someone who can throw a little money at her and provide her with a meal that doesn’t come out of a can.

Writer’s stats: Male, Straight.