Q

Dear Dr. Darcy:

I recently ran into my friend’s ex boyfriend and I definitely felt something between us. Now he’s texting me wanting to hang out. 

I would never do it without asking my friend if it’s ok  first. Is there a way to do it and not have it be awkward? I 100% have a crush on him.

A

You’re allowed to have a crush on your friend’s ex. You’re just not advised to act on it. 

First of all, most people don’t know how they’ll react in a situation until they find themselves in it, so expecting your friend to accurately predict her feelings isn’t going to get you information you can rely on. 

Second, what are you going to do if your friend thinks she’ll be ok with it and then decides she’s not? Are you going to end things once you’ve caught feelings? 

Finally, no matter how “over” the ex she might be, do you think your friend really wants to hang out with him if things work out between the two of you? And will you feel comfortable hanging out with his ex?

Given the amount of dating options that apps provide us with – and the unlikely probability that your friend’s ex will wind up being “the one” – I think the only outcome you’ll get will be to lose a friend.  

I don’t think there’s a way to date her ex without it  being awkward A.F. And I think dating him would make you that girl. Which is gross, if you ask me.  

Writer’s Stats: 
Straight, Female.