From Secrets to Stories: Choosing When to Share Your Past

It’s not that I’m a grudge holder. Really. In fact, several years ago when I catapulted myself into a journey of forgiveness for someone who had wronged me, I measured my capacity for forgiveness at the outset, and it turned out I’m in the normal-range of forgivers. It’s the apology ...

Q Dr. Darcy, I’m having some sexual issues with my boyfriend. We started dating just before the pandemic. By the time we were out of lockdown I was so sexually deprived that every time we hooked up, we bypassed foreplay and got right to sex. Now that we’ve been having ...

Millennials: We’re all fucking fatigued. You’re exhausted from COVID and I’m exhausted from having to motivate you to take it seriously. This was originally written as a text to the two of you I’m related to  (The last sentence. Actually, no. The whole thing), but it occurred to me that ...

Q Dear Dr. Darcy, I see you talking and posting about the BLM movement a lot and I want to ask, out of genuine curiosity and desire to understand, what does any of it have to do with relationships? I miss your relationship blogs. A I hear you, mama. You ...

People of color are tired of hearing that I’m heartbroken. They’re tired of black murder resulting in a kind of Black People’s Spirit Week where we whites gush empathy and outrage and get distracted the minute the news cycle changes. Or by the gnat that flies in our peripheral. Do ...

It’s 1996. I’m in my second year of graduate school. Professor Richard Cloward, a pioneer in American social justice, is teaching my class at Columbia University’s School of Social Work. Today’s discussion comes from a chapter in his book, Regulating The Poor, in which he posits that American society is ...