A Modicum of Insecurity Can Be A Fucking Super Power

Hi Dr. Darcy,

I’ve always been somewhat insecure in my personal life but it recently started showing up professionally after I was laid off from my tech job. 

I’ve had 2 group interviews and even though I’m as qualified as the other candidates, I couldn’t answer the questions with the level of confidence the others had. And it turns out some of their answers were actually wrong which I realized after the interview.

My friends tell me I have to sell myself better but I like to make sure I know what I’m talking about which means I double and triple check my work before suggesting things to higher ups.

Is there a way to fix my insecurity?

 

 

I don’t think you’re necessarily insecure. Sounds to me like you’re humble. And maybe grounded in reality. I’ve found that people who look the most confident are often overestimating themselves while the most competent tend to underestimate themselves (Dunning-Kruger Effect). 

And I’ll let you in on a secret: A modicum of insecurity can be a fucking super power. 

In certain people, insecurity makes them work harder because they think they have to.

It makes them prepare more thoroughly which means they’re more likely to have the answers at their fingertips. 

It makes them competitive, which can be a drag unless you know how to make it playful, which can make even mundane tasks fun. 

I graduated from a big public high school at the bottom of my class. The only reason they let me graduate is because I was a behavioral problem they wanted to be done with. I’d never walked into a library until college. 

Right before my freshman year, my brother sat me down and said, “You have to remember that you don’t have study skills. You’re going to have to work harder than the other kids just to keep up. Don’t think you can stop studying when they’re done.”

I internalized his words. They are still a constant companion. 

I am not the smartest person in the room. 

I am not the most talented person in the room. 

I am not the fittest or prettiest person in the room.

But I will outwork anyone when I put my mind to it.

Let your insecurity light a fire inside you. Prep harder. Work harder. Compete harder. 

In the next job interview, let them know that whatever you lack in experience or ability, you’ll do through hard work.

And if you can actually do it, you’ll be unstoppable.  

 

Writer’s Demographics

Gender: Female

Sexual Orientation: Straight