5 Conversation Pivots This Thanksgiving

Ah, Thanksgiving. The smell of familiar food. The gathering of family. And the dreaded conversations that you don’t want to have.

From the personal:

“So, are you dating anyone?” 
“When are you going to have kids?” 
“So what do you do?” 

To the political – which I won’t risk triggering you with teasers of –  my office and social media overflow in the week(s) leading up to Thanksgiving with concerns about how to navigate the landmine of miserable topics.

This year I’ve got solutions. PIVOTS so smooth they won’t even know they’re on a different topic.

1. “And…”
   The “And” works well because most people expect to be redirected with the word “but” or through overt boundaries or confrontation. “And” is so neutral that it flies under the radar without provoking defensiveness. 

   STEP A

   “That’s interesting, and… “

   “I see what you mean, and… “

   “Wow, I hadn’t thought about that, and… “

   “I actually do want to hear about this, and…”

   You then LINK “and” with the new topic:

   STEP B

   “That reminds me….”

   “Before I forget to ask you, how is….”

   “I was actually wondering about…”

   “Could you remind me…”

2. Video Redirect.
   Admittedly, I’d be pissed off if people at my Thanksgiving table suddenly busted out their phones to share funny or cute videos…

   But then again I’d never allow conversation that would result in discomfort or in dividing people into camps. And, as the host, I’d certainly never expect my guests to run interference if a topic came up that could go that way. 

   So, if your host would rather YOU be uncomfortable than tolerate her own by confronting Uncle Rus when he brings up Fake News, I recommend having some funny / adorable videos on hand to show your cousin. 

   Think:

   • Wedding fails, and here, and since I’m a Jersey Girl, one that touches my heart. 
   • Mishka the talking husky
   • Fails, in general
   
   

3. Sports Redirect.
   I know as much about sports as you probably do about fouette turns. Still, it seems like a reasonable play (<-did you see that?) to tilt your head the way your dog does and say, “Was that a score?” Maybe it’s a goal. I really don’t know the difference.

4. “OMG, did you see that?”
   And you point to a child, a pet, or the TV.

5. “Excuse me.” 
   Yup, literally say, “excuse me” and head out of the room. When you come back, if someone calls you out, cock your head to the side and say, “Wait, I’m confused. Were you talking when I left?”

Happy Thanksgiving! May 2020 bring less of a need for strategic pivots.