The secret to my perfect relationship

The secret to my perfect relationship

Almost every day I find myself sitting across from a client who’s struggling with relationship envy, only the relationship that they’re envious of doesn’t really exist. It’s a curated version of a relationship (or, relationships) that they see on social media.

Nonetheless, most people I know (clients + friends) actually believe the carefully produced life stories they see on social media. Particularly when it comes to other people’s relationships. But the fact is, your friend’s social media feeds are a complete distortion of reality.

To prove my point, I’m going to share some things about my relationship that you won’t see on social media.

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How bad can it actually be? The myths that cause us to avoid conversations.

How bad can it actually be? The myths that cause us to avoid conversations.

We’ve all been there: You have a question to ask your partner - one you imagine will be touchy… You promise yourself you’ll do it tonight, and the next thing you know, you’re knee-deep in organizing the closet that’s needed attention for months. Or years.  And you are most definitely not having that conversation.

We avoid discussions when we imagine that the topic will be difficult, or that it will provoke a conflict. Sometimes we avoid conversations because we anticipate disappointing or hurting the other person. It’s the reason why we ghost.

The thing is, humans suck at accurately predicting how we’ll feel in the future. We consistently overrate the level of discomfort we’ll feel having a tough conversation - and we almost always fail to predict the possibility that the conversation will make us feel better. So why do we act as though we have this magical power?

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