Dear Dr. Darcy:
I’ve been dating a man for 4 months and I’m deeply in love with him. He lives in a suburb outside of the city and I live in [Greenwich] Village. Our interests, sex life, and personalities are more compatible than with any other person I’ve been with. I’m at a point where I want to introduce him to my friends and family and suddenly he’s acting strange – particularly around the idea of introducing me to his friends and family. I have a friend who thinks it’s bizarre that a single man in his mid 30’s lives in a suburb in a house rather than in New York City where he works. She also pointed out to me that he sometimes has work crises that cause him to cancel plans within an hour of our dates. And at least two weekends a month, he’s unable to come into [New York City] to see me. What do you think this is all about?
What do you think this is all about? Seriously. Tune into your gut. Stop seeing what you want to see and look at the reality of the situation. Or continue to hide your head in the sand and write a question to AskDrDarcy and I’ll tell you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that your guy is MARRIED and likely has a brood in that suburb of his.
Let me tell you a few more things about your guy:
If you look at his ring finger, you’ll probably see a tan line.
He pays for all your dinners in cash – or he puts it on his business card. Either way, the method ensures that a paper trail won’t cross paths with his residence (and you undoubtedly haven’t either).
He doesn’t work for the Pentagon and he’s not a physician, which would be the only two professions that could potentially legitimize his work crises that sabotage your plans so often.
Stop the madness. And stop the affair (which is what this is). If you require concrete proof of the obvious, figure out where he lives and go visit him. He deserves whatever fallout will result.
PS: Don’t leave without joining my tribe below!