Penetrating The Problem

Dear Dr. Darcy: 

I'm a very girly femme lesbian and my girlfriend is a very butch lesbian and we have been dating for about six months, however, we don't use any type of penetration in [our] sexual relationship and my butch girlfriend does not like [penetration] however, I do. When I bring up the penetration that I would like to receive she gets offended and says that she should be enough for me. I need advice.


Your girlfriend is concerned that your desire for penetration means that she is less able to meet your needs. It’s a concern rooted in insecurity, and if your relationship is going to work she needs to focus more on meeting your needs and less on her narrow view of what constitutes fulfillment within a committed lesbian relationship.

Bottom line: She needs to buy and use a strap on, dildo, or other sex toy that will fulfill your need for penetration. And if she is unwilling, you have a choice: Either stay with a woman who is threatened by your sexual needs or find a woman who won’t hesitate to meet them. I think you deserve to be fulfilled sexually but it’s going to boil down to your self-esteem and what you think you deserve.

Writer’s Stats: Female, Lesbian