Dear Dr. Darcy:

I’m 23 years old, I live here in [New York] city (actually, I live in Brooklyn but that counts, right?) and I’m having major boy problems. I’m dating this 31 year old who I’m really into and I’m sure he’s really into me, but here’s the problem:  He always makes plans at the last minute to see me and on the nights that I don’t see him, we text all night long, so I know it’s not that he doesn’t want to see me.  I just don’t understand why he can’t make plans in advance. And if we can be on the phone texting all night long, why aren’t we together?  I’ve polled all of my friends about this and the consensus is that he’s not ready to commit.  What do you think?


I think your guy is either married or he’s in a committed relationship, Brooklyn.  I think that’s why he’s not able to make plans until the last minute.  And I think you have some trouble, in general, facing reality, like the fact that you don’t live in the city.  You, in fact, live in Brooklyn.  Furthermore, you are not dating this guy.  You are fucking him.  Actually, he’s fucking you. And I’m not speaking literally here.  That’s a metaphor.

This guy is bad news, Brooklyn.  Lose him, find yourself and start looking for the other areas of your life in which you are not seeing reality.  If you want some help, go see a shrink.  Stop polling your friends.  They are as nearsighted as you.  If you must have informal advice, look for someone who has what you want.  Don’t look to your doppelganger for guidance unless you have a desire to be a hamster on a wheel.

Writer’s Stats: Female, undecided.