Miss Understood

Dear Dr. Darcy:

I’m in 9th grade and I’m very frustrated with school.  The girls are all talking about me at school and on fb [Facebook].  They won’t sit with me in lunch so… I go to the library and I just don’t eat.  I’m also in a new school which isn’t helping anything.  I was hoping I’d get a fresh start here, but one of the girls in my old school is cousins with a girl in this school and she told her about something I did last year with a 10th grader.  So I’ll just tell you what I did.  I let him go to 3rd base – no mouth just hands.  And someone walked in on us…  The rest of the year was not good for me and friends.  And now it’s followed me here.  Is there any way of starting fresh?

ANSWER

There is no such thing as starting fresh in today’s world.  Even if girls from your old school didn’t know girls from your new school, Facebook makes it easy enough for your worlds to connect.  The only thing you can control is how you conduct yourself from this minute moving forward.

I took the liberty of checking out your Facebook wall which has enough information for me to give you all the feedback you need.  I’ll start with specifics and then give you my general impression:

  1. Your profile picture is age-inappropriate.  Aside from the picture being seductive, you intentionally show cleavage.  The message that it sends the world is that you’re only worth your bra size.  When you come home from school today, throw on a sweater, take another picture and replace it.
  2. You’ve ‘Liked’ several pages that are inappropriate.  There are too many for me to list.  ‘Unlike’ every page that says anything about sex, a bedroom, a boy, your body, strip clubs, or drinking.
  3. You’ve written mean posts about other girls.  I don’t care who these girls are or what they've done to make you feel justified in talking about them.  Delete the posts.  Now.

You’re blaming your difficult time in school on 1 situation that happened a year ago at another school and I’m here to tell you that you’re bullshitting yourself.   The reality is that your reputation is consistent with the information you put out in the world. I don’t know where your parents are or how they allow you to have a public profile that looks like this, but I’m stepping up to the plate in their absence.  Clean up your profile.  Clean up your behavior.  You are not misunderstood. You are Miss Understood. You’re getting exactly what you’re asking for.  Ask for something different, behave differently, and you’ll get much better attention.  Your reputation is your choice.

Writer's Stats: Girl who likes boys.