Mind Over Matter

Dear Dr. Darcy:

I want to break up with my boyfriend and every time I try to we wind up having sex.  Is there something wrong with me?


Short, sweet and to the point.  I like it.

Well clearly there’s something wrong if you find yourself schtupping the guy you’re trying to break up with… There’s something about it that’s turning you on. Are you getting turned on by the thought of having distance from him?  Are you that woman who only wants what she can’t have?   If so, you’ve got intimacy issues and until you work through them, you’ll find yourself looking for love in all the wrong places.

On the other hand, is it pity sex?  Do you find yourself feeling guilty when you’re about to break up with him?  If guilt’s a common emotion for you, if you find yourself driven to do things that you don’t want to because the thought of not doing it will make you feel guilty, this may be the answer.

Regardless of what is motivating you to fuck Mr. needs-to-be-your ex-boyfriend, you must employ some self-control or you’re going to find yourself growing old with him.  You can feel attracted to someone and not have sex with them. You can feel guilty (or any other emotion) and live through it without anesthetizing it with sex.  Toughen up.  Mind over matter.

Writer’s Stats: Female, bisexual.