Honestly, Fuck Valentine’s Day.

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I’m not opposed to romance. I’m a relationship expert who spends every billable hour of her life (and many non-billable hours) disseminating love advice. I will spend Valentine’s Day 2019 in New York’s Hearst Building: Half the day answering relationship Q&A’s on Harper’s Bazaar’s Snapchat, and the other half on Cosmopolitan Magazine’s Instagram Live, retooling the Tinder profiles for 6 of their staffers.

I oppose mandatory romance. The same way I oppose mandatory drinking on New Year’s Eve.

I don’t like feeling obligated to buy my wife overpriced flowers on a certain day of the year, knowing that in two days the heads of those flowers will look like a bouquet of penises in need of Viagra.

But I mostly don’t like how Valentine’s Day makes the singles in my life feel. 

Singles don’t feel overlooked on Valentine’s Day. They feel overly-defined by their relationship status.

They feel judged. Pitied. Less than.

And they don’t feel like that on other days of the year.

Here are some facts that I have access to as Tinder’s Global Ambassador:

  • The majority of Millennials (72%) have made a conscious decision to be single for a period of time to focus on other things in their lives. 

  • They did it to prioritize their personal needs, their career, and to focus on school.

  • Being single doesn’t make them feel sad. It makes them feel independent.

All of which is to say, the days of single shaming appear to be coming to a welcome end.

Until then, I remain fundamentally resistant to February 14th. Nonetheless, my wife will receive flowers on that day, because she shouldn’t be negatively impacted by my obstinance.   

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