I’m not opposed to romance. I’m a relationship expert who spends every billable hour of her life (and many non-billable hours) disseminating love advice. I will spend Valentine’s Day 2019 in New York’s Hearst Building: Half the day answering relationship Q&A’s on Harper’s Bazaar’s Snapchat, and the other half on Cosmopolitan Magazine’s Instagram Live, retooling the Tinder profiles for 6 of their staffers.
I oppose mandatory romance. The same way I oppose mandatory drinking on New Year’s Eve.
I don’t like feeling obligated to buy my wife overpriced flowers on a certain day of the year, knowing that in two days the heads of those flowers will look like a bouquet of penises in need of Viagra.
But I mostly don’t like how Valentine’s Day makes the singles in my life feel.
Singles don’t feel overlooked on Valentine’s Day. They feel overly-defined by their relationship status.
They feel judged. Pitied. Less than.
And they don’t feel like that on other days of the year.
Here are some facts that I have access to as Tinder’s Global Ambassador:
The majority of Millennials (72%) have made a conscious decision to be single for a period of time to focus on other things in their lives.
They did it to prioritize their personal needs, their career, and to focus on school.
Being single doesn’t make them feel sad. It makes them feel independent.
All of which is to say, the days of single shaming appear to be coming to a welcome end.
Until then, I remain fundamentally resistant to February 14th. Nonetheless, my wife will receive flowers on that day, because she shouldn’t be negatively impacted by my obstinance.
PS: Don’t leave without joining my tribe below!