Dear Dr. Darcy:
I’m a Gold Star [never been with a man], I’m in my mid 20’s and I’m beginning to get curious about being penetrated. I’ve mentioned to my girlfriend that I’d like her to use a strap-on and she seemed totally disturbed by the thought and actually asked me if I wanted to be with a guy. Needless to say, we are in a huge fight now and I feel foolish for taking the risk of telling her what I was feeling. I haven’t been with many women: Is it normal for women to react this way over a strap-on?
It’s normal for an insecure asshole to react that way, but no, a well-adjusted secure woman would be inclined to meet your needs, particularly since you’re not looking to go outside of the relationship to have them met.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a Gold Star Lesbian or if you’re bi-curious… As you grow and mature, your needs will change. You should to be with someone who is open to and supportive of your growth ~ not someone who feels threatened by it and is inclined to stagnate you through shame.
Perhaps the sun has set on this relationship. Give it some thought. You’re young enough where I’m concerned that if you stay with this woman, her sexual hangups may have long-lasting effects on your sexual development and identity. It is very common for lesbians to use strap-ons, vibrators and other toys. Find yourself someone cool and adventurous and have a fabulous summer romance.
Writer’s Stats: Female, lesbian.