Dear Dr. Darcy:
I started dating someone last month and we’ve been on about 3 dates. The first two were great and I really imagined it working out. During the last date, however, she started talking about bad dating experiences and I chimed in with some of my own, because some of my bad dates make for funny stories. The next thing I know, there’s this awkward silence and the strange energy continued until the date was over.
I’ll be perfectly honest with you: This happens to me a lot. I don’t always know when to stop talking. What amazes me is that others do know when to stop talking. Did I miss some class in middle school where they taught people this skill?
Ahh, an emotional slut. You exposed too much too soon. There are two reasons why you don’t want to be this way:
1. Because you lose your mystique and appear to be too easy of a conquest. Everyone likes a challenge.
2. Because no one wants to hear the gory details of any aspect of your life on a third date. It’s a burden to the listener and they feel compelled to console you.
It’s funny that you mention middle school because that is precisely the age at which we begin to form social skills which later becomes our Game. I can’t speak to whether you failed to acquire the skill set entirely, but clearly you could use a refresher course, so let’s get to it.
People who have no game tend to have internal dialogues which justify why they have no game: I hate games. I’m too old for games. Games are for inauthentic people. Etc. These storylines keep them stuck in their old ways despite the fact that life continues to provide them with example after example of why they should acquire said Game. Sadly, as long as they remain aligned with these stories, they will never change.
Let me tell you why you should acquire Game: Because it demonstrates the ability to delay gratification, and delaying gratification is hot. Think about it: The absence of game is simply the inability to intellectually and emotionally seduce. Moreover, it’s the inability to control one’s desires:
You text the minute you think of the person instead of waiting an hour to build up the other’s anticipation. You make it crystal clear that they have no dating competition, and you do this because you want them to give you the same level of certainty. What you miss is that people enjoy the chase, so you’re gratifying yourself without putting their need for a challenge first.
It demonstrates weak emotional muscles. It’s like having a refrigerator filled with desserts and instead of pacing yourself and eating a serving a day, you overindulge and binge in one sitting. No one wants to be with a big fat binger.
These are some compelling reasons for acquiring game. Now, Just Do It.