Faking It


I have been out my entire life and am very comfortable being gay. In the past year I have chosen to avoid relationships and have instead dated a few women and all of them know that I’m dating other people. I recently started dating a woman in her mid twenties who identifies as bisexual. Initially the sex was amazing, and it still is, except recently she’s been faking orgasms. I’m guess she got away with this sort of thing with guys, but like most lesbians, I know how a woman’s body works and I can tell when she’s faking verses the real thing. I haven’t mentioned this to her because I figure this is her problem, it’s private and who am I to call her out, but I’m not sure if keeping quiet is the right thing to do.


I want to commend you on your sensitivity. Many people in your position would become defensive and confront, and confrontation will not help with this situation. Furthermore, it’s admirable that you are not questioning your skills in the bedroom, rather, identifying this as her issue, and respecting her right to privacy with respect to it. Having said that, once you’re in the bedroom and having sex, people’s right to privacy changes a bit. For example, you probably wouldn’t ask someone who you just met in a bar if she has an STD, but if you saw something on her body that looked concerning while you were having sex, it would be completely appropriate to raise the issue, albeit, gently.

I suggest that you ride this one out and see where it goes. If your attraction for her doesn’t dwindle with time, you may want to find a way to inquire, ahem, within.