Double Bag It

Dear Dr. Darcy:

I got married 2 years ago to a wonderful man.  On our honeymoon I got pregnant.  That was not the game plan.  A year later, I got pregnant again and that’s when our marriage began to weaken.  He started feeling lots of financial pressures to take care of me and our two children.  This morning I just found out I’m pregnant again.  I’m very worried about telling my husband… I’m afraid he’s going to crack under the pressure of having a third child. Do you have any advice?  I really need help.


Please clarify one thing:  How, in 2011, does someone get pregnant by accident? You’re fucking without birth control, without a condom, and what?  Hoping that the sperm won’t make contact with an egg?  And after you got pregnant the first two times, you say to yourself, ‘This seems like a good method of birth control’? Here’s some straight advice:  DOUBLE BAG IT.  Don’t use one condom – use TWO.  Your husband, apparently, has super sperm, and you are Fertile Myrtle.  Pulling out isn’t working.

Your husband should have gotten the snip-snip after the first pangs of adult responsibility began to wash over him.  He needs to grab his balls, take responsibility for choosing to have sex without birth control, and get a 2nd job, which is what a real man does for his family.  Unless, of course, he’d prefer to be the primary caregiver, in which case I’m betting you’d be thrilled to return to work and swap roles with his apathetic ass.

Tell your husband that you are pregnant.  Don’t shoulder this burden alone.  I’m sure you’re contemplating terminating the pregnancy without telling him – to spare him.  Don’t.  He needs to be part of the decision or he’ll miss a learning opportunity (which apparently he missed twice already, but hey, maybe the third time’s a charm).  And stop pussy footing around him. He’s a man.  Treat him like one.  People become what we expect of them.

Writer's Stats: Female, Hetero.