Cheating Is NOT An Open Relationship

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Dear Dr. Darcy:

I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. I’m not devastated over the cheat. I’m pissed off because from the beginning I wanted an open relationship and only agreed to monogamy for him because he insisted on it. Now of course he’s willing to have an open relationship but strangely I’m inclined to just walk away. What’s that about?

ANSWER

An open relationship is not the same thing as a relationship absent of honesty.  Your boyfriend ripped the honesty out of the relationship and now that he’s caught, he’s willing to consider an open relationship.  What he doesn’t understand is that an open relationship actually requires more honesty and better communication than a monogamous one because the stakes are so high.

It makes perfect sense to me that you’re disinclined to move forward with him. Why would you want to be with someone who betrayed you? I think you deserve better. Go out and find yourself a real man who has the balls to take responsibility for the type of relationship he really wants.

Writer’s Stats: Male, Gay.