Bottom's Up

My girlfriend goes out a lot and sometimes drinks too much.  She’s a butch and bigger than I am so when this happens, it’s hard for me to take care of her.  Recently, she came home drunk and tried to have sex with me.  I was not in the mood because of how drunk she was.  Luckily she had so much to drink that she lost interest and fell asleep without any drama.  I’m a femme and not always sure how to handle her when she gets like this.  Any advice?

ANSWER

Your butch is an alcoholic, Femme. Her drinking is problematic on a myriad of levels and the fact that you don’t see it as such confirms that you are a classic enabler.  You are the person who wipes the vomit from her face and then calls her boss to say that she has the flu and needs to spend a day in bed to rest…You are as big a problem in this relationship as she is.  If you have any real desire to see her get cleaned up, you need to begin going to Al-anon meetings (click here for a link) to become educated on how enablers enable loved ones to maintain their addictive behaviors.

What you described above sounds like it’s one drink off (plus or minus one drink) from forcible sex.  The situation is only going to get worse before it gets better unless you grab your ovaries and get your ass to a meeting ASAP.  I’m here to tell you that you are in absolute danger and that the decision to postpone action will likely result in compromising your safety.