Adjusting Expectations

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Hi Darcy. I feel weird about this but here goes. Recently I started seeing a chiropractor. I had 2 visits thus far and I am feeling pretty good. I am very single and he is very married. The thing is I think I have a mad crush on him and I am feeling horrible and guilty and I don’t know how to deal with it. I feel like crying because of the shame of feeling this way especially because I am aware of his marital status. I don’t even understand why I feel this way when he is not the type of man I [usually] go for. I am not even sure if I should turn up for my next appointment in 3 wks. I am just soo confused. I can't even talk to anyone because I am too ashamed. Can you give me bit of advice? What do you think I [should] do? Is it normal for a patient to crush on their doctors?

ANSWER

It’s normal for peopleto have crushes. Crushes are feelings and feelings, regardless of what type of feelings, are ok. Always. We can’t control our feelings, so it’s unfair for you to judge yourself for having feelings - even for a married man.

There is, however, something wrong about acting on those feelings given his marital status. It doesn’t sound to me like you have any intention of doing that. So really, you’re the only one being affected by your feelings. Which brings me to the final point.

If seeing him as your doctor is or becomes too painful, you need to find a new doctor. Don’t torture yourself. And stop complicating your feelings by adding shame to the mix. There’s nothing shameful about having a crush. Hell, you might even find yourself having a girl crush one day ;)

Writer’s Stats: Female, Straight.