A Concerned Mother

Dr. Darcy:

I’m the parent of a Christian girl who just announced to her family, her friends and her school that she is a lesbian.  Her father and I have raised her to understand that she will pay a price for her choice when she ultimately comes face-to-face with her Creator.  Unfortunately, with role models like yourself in this world who promote a gay lifestyle and make it appear as though it is as normal as being heterosexual, the long-term consequences of her choice can’t compete. We are African-American which in and of itself will pose many obstacles to my daughter’s life.  As a white girl, you have no idea what she will go through in life and what’s worse is that you don’t care.  So long as your example of normalcy has converted another soul, you’ve fulfilled your mission.

ANSWER

You liked it better when poster children of the LGBT community were limited to radicals with whom you had nothing in common.  Let me enlighten you to the fact that you and I are part of the same race – the Human Race.  Whether you’d like to believe it or not, our commonalities are likely more numerous than our differences.  We both want to live in peace – in this life and in any subsequent lives.  We both have values and principles which guide us in making our daily decisions.  We are each married, legally, in the states in which we reside.  We love our spouses and imagine a life where we have more than enough for our respective families so that we can give overflow to those who are not as blessed.  I can’t speak to your career choice, but I am a social worker and as such I serve others in virtually every hour of my workday.  I’m guessing serving others is a value of yours as well.  I could drone on about our similarities but I think I’ve made my point.  You are accustomed to searching for differences – division lines – variables that set me in a different category from you.  We are the same, you and I, which is why I’m able to respond to you with a modicum of compassion instead of giving in to a more primal response.

While I am proud to be a role model for young LGBT’s, I don’t delude myself into thinking that the mere presence of a role model can sway one’s sexual orientation.  Were that the case I would be heterosexual, as those were the only examples I saw in my youth.  Nonetheless, I will continue to expand my presence in the hopes that my example can make someone’s life seem more hopeful; maybe even prevent a suicide.

You are afraid that your daughter’s sexual orientation will pigeon-hole her into a life of limited options.  Lucky for her, the limitations of her world will be confined to those that she can imagine.  The life that you’re imagining for her is nothing more than a montage of your own fears.  Work them out, Madam, and they will not effect your daughter.  Keep those fears to yourself and you’ll project them all over her throughout her life, creating a myriad of self-fulfilling prophecies.  Be the change that you want your daughter to experience in the world.

Writer's Stats: Female, Heterosexual.