Dear Dr. Darcy:
I am 23 years old and straight. My boyfriend would like a three-way with another woman. He’s been asking for this for forever and he’s going to be 30 in a few months so I was thinking about doing it for him. Here’s my problem:
I have always been attracted to women although I’ve never been with one. I’m very afraid that if I hook up with one, I’ll never want men again. Dr. Darcy, I am very ‘straight’ in every sense of the word. I love dresses and high heels, makeup, and I like being taken care of the way a man cares for a woman. I’m afraid I couldn’t live a lesbian lifestyle. So what should I do?
Don’t have a three-way, that’s what. Forget the fact that you very well may be gay, bringing a third person into your bedroom will likely complicate your relationship with your boyfriend. And while it may not be the final nail in the coffin, studies show that it’s often the precipitating factor in a heterosexual breakup. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: The only emotionally safe way for a woman to participate in a 3-way is to be the guest star.
Now let’s talk about our mutual suspicion that you’re playing for the wrong team. Seriously, most women don’t ponder whether they can live a lesbian lifestyle at the mere thought of having a 3-way… It’s a red flag. Or a rainbow flag.
I recommend you pondering your sexual orientation while you’re still (relatively) unattached. Don’t complicate it with whether you can fathom trading in the Louboutins for Birkenstocks. If that had been a requirement, I’d still be playing for the wrong team.