Sexpectations

Sexpectations

Q:

Dear Dr. Darcy:
My boyfriend doesn't please me in bed. Basically, he won’t go down on me. He says that all the other girls he dated were able to come through penetration. He’s tried giving me oral sex a few times but always stops after a minute or two. Whenever I try to discuss it I feel like he turns it into there being something wrong with me that I can’t come through sex. He’s made it clear he doesn’t like going down on women but for me, that’s the only way I can orgasm. I’ve looked up how to have vaginal orgasms and I keep trying but it just never works. Is there something wrong with me?

Click below to read my answer!

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New Year, New Sex + Love Strategy. Bring it, 2019.

New Year, New Sex + Love Strategy. Bring it, 2019.

I don’t know about you, but 2018 felt less like a year and more like a decade to me. Or like I was cramming for final exams. All. Year. Long.

Realizing that I’ve been feeling so much pressure makes my inner rebel want to take over. It makes me want to break rules. Test boundaries. Push back.

So, as 2018 (thankfully) fades in our collective rearview mirror, I’ve decided to surrender control of my keyboard - and this blog post - to my inner 16-year old.  Here’s how she thinks you should shake things up in 2019, so we all feel a lot less serious this time next year:

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Talk Dirty to Me

Talk Dirty to Me

Q

Dear Dr. Darcy,

I’ve been with my partner for nearly 7 years. She’s always been willing to try, or at least discuss, any requests I’ve had for introducing new things to our sex life.

She’s mentioned several times that she wished I’d spice things up with some dirty talk. I want so badly to reciprocate her willingness to fulfill me, but every time I try my mind goes completely blank. I have no idea what to say or how to say it. Don’t get me wrong, I know how to give vocal cues. But putting words with my tone — that’s where I freeze.

Is talking dirty something that can be learned?

A

Anything can be learned. You just have to be willing.

There are few things hotter to a woman than well-executed dirty talk because (great) seduction starts by stimulating our minds.

Your first mistake is expecting to perform improv without any prep. The pressure in the moment is causing you to freeze – which is the last thing either of you want in the bedroom. Here I’ll say an ounce of preparation will equal a pound of cure.

I think you need a warm-up before engaging IRL dirty talk.

Start by following my 3 steps below:

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