What My Assistant Taught Me About Communication - Personal

What My Assistant Taught Me About Communication - Personal

I don’t expect professional relationships to work effortlessly – particularly when they’re mine.

I say that because, as a relationship expert, I encourage the people I work with to check in with me about how our relationship is going. And I remind them to do it pretty often.

The result, not surprisingly, is that every couple of months, I find myself on the receiving end of ‘feedback.’ 

I place ‘feedback’ in proverbial air quotes since it generally makes me cringe - because although my fantasy involves my phone blowing up with declarations of how amazing I am to work with, the reality of those conversations generally plays out differently.  Click here to see how my ‘feedback’ generally goes.

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Forty. Fucking. Nine.

Forty. Fucking. Nine.

And just like that, I blinked and hit the big four nine.  You’d think at my age I wouldn’t feel compelled to announce it. Would, perhaps, be more content to fly under the radar, requiring those who wonder to Google it.  

I won’t deny that I thought about keeping quiet. I hate the self-indulgence of publishing a ‘me’ story. I get a good amount of attention. I don’t need a parade on my birthday.

But then a little voice inside my head questioned whether I was playing into a female stereotype:

The ‘aging’ woman who buys into the expectation that with each passing year, she will fade and become a little more invisible.

And that’s all it took to get my inner rebel stirred up.

Here’s what I think about entering the last year of my 40’s and facing down fifty.

Holy shit. I can’t believe I just wrote that.


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I Love You. Now Change.

I Love You. Now Change.

Everyone wants their partner to change.

“Why can’t he be more romantic?”
“If only we had more sex [hotter sex; less sex; any sex], I’d have no complaints.”
“I just want her to make me a priority.”

In my (gasp) 22-year career, the one constant among my clients is that each has believed with every fiber of her being that the key to her relationship success rested in her partner’s willingness to change.

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